“All things have their backs to the feminine and stand facing the masculine. When the masculine and feminine combine, all things achieve harmony.”
– Dao De Jing

This article is by no mean gender specific. Society naively boxes some feminine attributes to being female. However, the divine femininity needs to have a place in every and each one of us for a more balanced and peaceful planet.

1. The Relationship Within

 

Several months ago, a very smart, sharp and successful business lady who suffered from insomnia came to me for an acupuncture session. We talked about her business, which she spent most of her waking hours on.

You could tell that she is deeply proud of her work – which is a blessing. But on the other hand, something somewhere in her reality was weighing her down.

I was curious, “How is your relationship with your business/work?”

All of a sudden, the atmosphere in my treatment room drastically changed. She became offended and annoyed, “How do you mean? Why do you ask?” she almost shouted, “How the hell is this relevant to my health?!”

To her, there are no relationships between the different aspects in her life. Her mind is her mind, her business is her business, and her body is her body – all strictly separated.

Except… her body no longer can cope with this notion of separation.

Various symptoms have developed: over-tiredness, irritation, tension, lacking sustainable energy; no matter how many supplements she has taken and diet changes she has tried, they are just not doing the trick.

Her being wants deeper nourishment and her feminine energy needs to be released.

Many of us have experienced this to a certain extent at some point in life: while on paper many achievements and successes make us appealing to the outside world (the relative Yang/Masculine aspect); on the way to getting there, we have exhausted our precious resources within (the relative Yin/Feminine aspect).

In the current patriarchal society, despite still having a long way to go, we are evolving towards a more equal culture. During this exciting transition, it is important that each of us in society, man or woman, becomes a more balanced and healthier being first – can you hear that our empowered femininity is calling?

When our feminine energy/Yin is blocked or suppressed, it leaves us feeling disconnected and empty inside, looking dull and tense outside;

We lose our sense of Self as well as authentic relationship with the outer world.

When our feminine energy is working in harmony with the masculine counterpart, we joyfully embrace ourselves and the world around us.

We are rejuvenated and replenished. We are able to flourish from exactly where we are.

We lead a more balanced life. We are truthful to who we are.

Yet so many of us are not sure how to get to this joyous state: “How do I elevate my feminine energy within?” You ask – and this burning question is not exclusive to women.

Over the past five years, while talking to clients and friends, from healers to scholars to artists to entrepreneurs, I have noticed that more and more men are intrigued or even invested in getting to know the other side of their energetic equation better and deeper.

Indeed, balancing one’s feminine (Yin) and masculine (Yang) energy within is essential for every human being.

Yang is creative, bright, protective and expressive, it reaches out to the sky. This is your external radiance.

While Yin, receptive, mysterious, resourceful, and intuitive, it roots back to the earth. This is your internal radiance.

Yin and Yang constantly interact with each other, like day chases the night, and night follows the day. This dynamic makes our Universe.

Contrary to the common misconceptions, that feminine (yin) is weak or masculine (yang) is evil/aggressive/controlling, both cases are symptoms that the energies have been misused or exploited; in fact, both yin and yang are essential and powerful in their own ways.

When we embody and integrate these two divine qualities, such wholeness is vibrant beyond measure.

 

2. Become Body Wise

 

Yin and Yang depend on each other. Yang is the hollow, gorgeous, abstract light; Yin is the deep, beautiful, substantial shadow.

Yang is the direct connection with sacredness; while Yin translates this indescribable reverence into our material world, and she can manifest this process with such grace and lavish abundance.

Yang is the pure, formless spirit, and Yin gives such spirit forms. That means, our body is a relatively Yin aspect of our entire existence (Yes, the world’s strongest man’s body is the relative Yin part of his existence).

To raise our feminine energy, to look after our Yin, we cannot leave our body behind.

Our society has a big emphasis on IQ and EQ, but our body intelligence is just as important. Becoming body wise is sadly not something that you can learn in school, however, with genuine curiosity and daily commitment, you will be able to understand your body well, and what s/he tries to communicate.

Your body is your kingdom with your uncharted waters, unclaimed land and rich heritage from its imprint and lineage.

Your body carries your past, envisions your future, while grounding you deeply to the present moment.

Your body hosts a home for your very essence to reside. No matter what size, portion, or shape you come with, learn to love and appreciate it deeper.

To be rooted in our feminine energy, to achieve a more balanced and truthful living, getting back into our body is absolutely fundamental.

Nowadays, with a full schedule, fast-paced living, all kinds of chaos and hecticness, many of us are too familiar with the feeling of burning the candle at both ends. We are constantly under pressure to achieve more, yet we become so good at ignoring our body’s messages, as if our body is a separate entity from the rest of us.

Even some master spiritual teachers in the West encourage this notion that our mind, body and spirit are different components, with our body at the bottom of the hierarchy. Such connotations might help certain people with their self-knowledge at a certain stage, however, if we go too far, this separation can become costly for our life.

Our soul is not distinct from our body.

Our body is not the cage of our mind.

Reclaiming the body you live in is to remember the forgotten part of your Self.

 

Take a honest reflection on the following questions:

Do you suffer from body shame?

Do you allow external influences such as harsh/ill comments or media’s distorted views to attack your body?

Do you provide sufficient nourishment to replenish every day?

When your body does not function the way you try hard to orchestrate, after the initial disappointment and frustration, do you feel that your body has betrayed you? Or do you offer the utmost respect and compassion towards your body and adjust your lifestyle accordingly?

Do you trust your body wisdom: your gut feeling, your heart’s calling, or do you brush away your pains and aches?

When you say “Yes”, is it always a full-body YES? And when your body pulls back, do you voice your NO without hesitation?

Our relationship with our body is experiential. We can read intelligent books and hear inspiring stories. But unless we are alert and responsive and establish a genuine understanding of our body, we are not sufficiently rooted.

Body empowerment can take years or even decades to development. And a true spiritual and feminine living is a dedicated journey of embodiment.

Embodiment requires openness and vulnerability, which asks us to be aware of our emotions.

 

3. Honour Your Emotions

 

While our Masculine Self is directly linked with the conscious, our Feminine Self is highly connected with the mystery and the subconscious mind, which has a life of its own and exerts priority in our emotions.

In our predominate culture, being emotional gets a bad name, as if it makes you less capable, reliable or desirable once you feel your feeling. We translate being emotional to overly dramatic or temperamental.

The truth is that emotions themselves are not a burden – they are energy that ebbs and flows like the seasons and ocean and many others things that are completely natural.

The problem only occurs when we bury, oppress, or deny our emotions; those blocked, stagnant, neglected waves will haunt us in unexpected manners – just because we choose not to engage with our feelings, it does not mean that they were not there…

“One thing in life you can’t hide- is when you’re crippled inside”
~ John Lennon

I too used to think that being available to my emotions made me become less useful, less valuable, less cool, so my solution was to ignore them.

Back in my corporate days, time was an ultra-rare commodity and I believed that I didn’t deserve the space and tenderness to get in touch with my emotions. I struggled a lot to be in tune with my true feeling underneath the bright shining career and social life.

Any sensation or sentiment that was uncomfortable or foreign, I’d brush it away immediately and easily.

So easily that I was numb for a long time.

Except one night, out of the blue, when everything hit me.  I still remember that night vividly, after a regular day, all  of a sudden, the turbulence, the swirl of energy, the anger, the confusion and resentment, inside my tired body, was craving and demanding for my attention, intensely. It was excruciating.

I did not know how to direct or work with my emotions. I was so afraid that I’d do something compulsive and regrettable.

I wasn’t sure what to do and wondered whom I could call for help. But everyone I hung out with back then seemed out of touch with their own emotions too, not to mention that I did not want to become burden or scare anyone off.

I had no idea how to face myself in those moments so I was stuck on my sofa for the entire night. Gradually, as the sky turned bright in the east, my intense dreadfulness calmed down and I no longer panicked. I wished that I could just cry and let it all out, but I didn’t even know how to allow my tears out either!

Years of programming of “be strong”, “in control”, “be tough” meant I lost my ability to simply cry even when it felt good…

My instinct dragged me to the kitchen. I picked up an onion – chop, chop, chop – as the layer went off, tears also flew out with buried feelings busting out:

Years of uphill struggle in this foreign country, grief and sadness over a few close friends leaving the UK suddenly, guilt of not visiting my parents enough as their only child, anger and helplessness of being treated harshly as a coloured female in the corporate culture…

As the emotion streams opened up, compassion gently filled up in my being: I was just doing my very best in the given circumstances, yet I never appreciated my effort or acknowledged my devotion.

I began to see that all those overwhelming emotions were merely a by-product or response from the conflicts between the external conditions and my inner desire to live well. I was afraid of my own feelings because my inner-critic was too loud and strong.

And like that, my feelings were not monsters to be kept in the closet anymore but a shining map for my wellbeing.

I no longer rejected myself, instead, I was graced by inner-peace and self-acceptance.

The following night, after many months for the first time, I slept like a baby. Looking back, that was one of my first unintentional DIY detoxes.

From that experience, I understood how healing appropriate tears can be, how necessary and powerful emotions are – and how embracing and celebrating the full range of them can be liberating.

We cannot numb ourselves into Divine Feminine.

Emotions are our friends/guides, not enemies.

Accepting your anger, frustration, rage, disappointment, hurt, pain, sadness, as they are, so that energies will not stagnant, accumulate or boil.

Instead energies will move and you can graciously move on.

If we suppress our emotions, ironically we are giving our power to emotions rather than using them to navigate our happiness.

Are you receptive towards your emotions?

Or are you running away from them, suppressing them or judging them?

Although emotions can be raw and big, by acknowledging them, we are less likely to make a drama out of it.

Instead of lashing out, we can accept that we are hurt and say, “I am sure you didn’t do it deliberately, but I am hurt by _____ (what they said/did). I need your help to get back on track. Can you please be here for me?”

Instead of getting resentful that our needs are not met, we can calmly point out, “I love you. But I need some time for myself right now. Let me be recharged so that I can be fully present with you as you deserve.”

Instead of completely shutting down and close our heart to the world, we can admit that sometimes life is just messy, difficult, or strangely sucks.

We can let our truth out through our creative outlets.

We can take responsibility and correct our mistakes.

We can forgive and adjust ourselves. We can mine gold from our hardships.

We can reinvent ourselves and wear hope and openness all over again.

 

Honouring our emotions does not mean to dump them onto others, but being 100% honest with ourselves – “what is not working? What does my subconscious wants me to know?”

It is nothing shameful to feel our feelings, in fact, it is wise to allow them to point out what is off in our life and navigate our path.

Our path is not a straight line, and being headstrong alone will not get us home. We need our soft power.

 

4. Stand In Your Soft Power

 

“The soft overcomes the hard.
The slow overcomes the fast.”
– Lao Zi

We were born in a Universe full of fascinating paradoxes, for example, being soft gives you more access to deeper impact and longevity. Our soft power is the secret ingredient of high femininity.

Feminine power is our humility, adaptability and curiosity. It opens us to a multi-dimensional and sensory world. It takes us long and far in life.

Feminine power, like the ocean, is healing and accepting. She stays low so that all streams and rivers flow to her like returning home.

Feminine power resides in silence, in the pause, held deeply in your essence.

Feminine power does not push, she attracts and invites. She draws in genuine interests. She is the magnet in you.

It is not always easy to appreciate such an inner-magnet, or even to recognise it to start with. The mainstream media’s definition of triumph is full of images and stories of aggressive persuasion and mindless expansion.

However, there are quieter and perhaps more meaningful and long-lasting success stories among the people.

Such as Pamela Warhurst and her project “Incredible Edible”, which transformed Todmodern, a little town in North West England, and contributed back to the wider society by gathering the community and growing food in the street!

There are plenty of people who have “made it” by being their authentic self and leaning back to their soft/feminine power.

Feminine power pays us respect, provides us sustenance, and above all, it makes daily living more enjoyable.

In a world full of conflicts and anger currently, our soft/feminine power is more needed than ever.

Your feminine power is playful, sensual, and benevolent, you might have forgotten about it, but with the right intention and tools, you definitely have access to it – here is how. 

Are you standing in your feminine power?

Do you appreciative these qualities: intuitive, compassionate, empathetic, collaborative? Do you utilise these qualities in your work and life? Or do you overlook or even dismiss them?

Do you want to share your gifts and talents with the world? What kind of difference would you like to contribute back to the world? Or are you holding back due to fear or some stubborn patterns?

Do you enjoy watching others succeed, and even want to lend a helpful hand? Or do you feel threatened in general?

Where there is disagreement, will you be able to breathe, tune in to your intuition and allow it to be your guidance? Or will you rush into a fighting mode by default?

How are you showing up to your day to day work? Are you clear with your intention, engaged with your action, savoring the process? Or are you on an autopilot, disinterested, disengaged?

What knowledge would you like to share with your community? How can you reshape your current relationships and shift from competition to more joyful collaboration?

Feminine/soft power not only make us reside calmly in our spot in the Universe, it also enhances and enriches more lives in the wider community, leading a healthier ecology.

Like Mama Earth, our Divine Feminine makes the world practical and real. She holds it all together: the male and the female, the high and the low, the expansion and the contraction, the seeking and returning.

 

5. Return To Harmony: Uniting Divine Feminine and Masculine

 

The Divine Feminine – She is not just in women but all of us. She is invaluable and essential in both men and women, and all lives.

The Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine have different qualities and feel, however they are never separated but complementary expressions of the Universal vitality when you are in a healthy and balanced state of being.

Growing up in China and being influenced by Taoist philosophy, my understanding is that the Yin/Yang concepts are not actually polarized.

In contrary to common belief, it is not about duality, ie, the feminine against the masculine.

 

Rather, the Divine Feminine and Masculine are within each other.

One continues the other, one fulfills the other; no beginning, no ending, forever and ever.

That one cannot exist without the other.

 

Because Yin/Yang (Feminine/Masculine) cannot exist without each other, nothing is absolute with Yin and Yang – it is all relative. There is always some Yin (Feminine) within Yang (Masculine), and vice versa.

Yin can transform into Yang under certain conditions, for example, once the dark Winter passes, the Earth wakes up into Spring, followed by Summer. Likewise, Yang can transform into Yin too.

Just like the Yin/Yang relationship, connecting with our divine feminine energy is not a black and white matter, but a fine art.

Getting in touch with our divine feminine energy does not necessarily mean that we should automatically discount or decrease our masculine energy.

For instance, if your masculine energy is not strong enough to hold you safely, it is very difficult to express your feminine qualities such as living intuitively – you will be weighed down by your fears and anxiety.

In many cases, it could be that both your feminine and masculine energies are being compromised. Therefore, both your feminine and masculine selves need more attention and to be released. 

We are children of the Sacred, exploring on Earth.

Our softness, our emotions, our body wisdom are as important as our strength, stamina and spiritual pursuit.

We can and should radiate both internally and externally.

Let’s remember the divinity within us. Let’s shine like the midday sun and dream our dreams under the moon.

 

My honour to have you here – thanks for reading my words – I appreciate your presence. 🌸

I believe that your sensitivity and softness are hugely underrated strengths.

I believe that your sensual playfulness and your wild creativity are essential. They should be celebrated and proudly embedded in your work and life, not ignored.

I believe that you can learn how to trust your Spirit, and become your own best Spirit Guide, instead of the worst enemy.

I believe that you do not have to suffer from unnecessary struggles as your path can graciously unfold for you.

If your Divine Feminine Self is looking for 1:1 support at this point of life, you can check out my private mentoring: Feminine Prosperity. 

 

With love,

Yiye

 

Enjoyed this article? Please feel free to share, I’d appreciate it 💗

You can also read/watch more on this topic:

Check this out: How To Step Into Your Divine Feminine & Sensual Playfulness. 

 

As always, I’ll be glad to hear from you. If you want to add your thoughts or have any questions, please leave a comment below or email me via yiye@yourlifeexpression.com.

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