What To Do When Your Friends Don’t “Get” You

by yiye

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One of the many struggles for lightworkers and creative entrepreneurs is that when you start out or want to change direction, your family and friends don’t really support you – at least it feels this way at times.

Sure, they are worried about you, they are concerned, and they might even want to warn you “for your own good.” You hear negative comments, harsh judgement or unsolicited opinions, so distracting and disheartening that you would do anything to get out of that unhealthy and un-nurturing situation.

If you let those opinions influence you too much, you might start doubting if you are on the right track at all.

I’ve certainly been there too, especially at the beginning when I didn’t have much support from my network. I spent too much energy reacting to the not-so-funny tease, projections and misunderstanding.

Hiring mentors to guide me and cheer me on certainly helped, but deep down, I also wanted to attract more like-hearted souls into my life in addition to my professional and creative work.

Re-examining my definition of friendship, owning my deep desires in mutually-giving, soulful relationships and setting myself free from others’ opinions was a real challenge. To me that was certainly much harder than learning and honing my skills in teaching, writing, coaching, and practical business how-to…all combined.

Today, I am sharing a few things that really helped me. Take what resonates with you, I hope they’ll help you too!

1. Be crystal clear with what you want and make a full-commitment.

This means, stop looking for validation from your friends. Chances are, when you start out a new venture or change your direction, you and your ideas are still in the mist. It’s so human to attempt to get approval.

However, unless you are 100% committed, others will sense your hesitation and they will respond to that primarily.

The best thing you can gift yourself is to clear the fog. And you must start the clearing from within.

Know what it takes for you to succeed and give your all. Let your family and friends off the hook. Ultimately, this is a great freedom for both you and them.

2. Give yourself what you need.

The more you become self-tolerant and self-loving, the more you are connected with your essence. You’ll then understand that there is nothing you truly lack. Paradoxically, you’ll attract more and more empathy, understanding and support.

Many of my clients (and myself included) have experienced these phases:

“they don’t get me, oh they really don’t. I can’t believe that they don’t believe in me.”

“actually I don’t need anyone other than myself to believe in me.”

“Holy C, they all get me and believe in me!”

And we all know the truth beneath: they haven’t changed. But we have.

In short, the more self-giving you become, the easier for you to tolerate human limitation and that includes your friends’ temporary perception on who you are.

3. Let some go.

Unfortunately some relationships are meant to be only for a season. Be thankful for what you’ve been through together, the witness, the companionship, the love and affection, but when you grow apart, the best thing is to let it go with grace.

Forgive. Forgive. And forgive. Make room for your expansion. And when the new people who adore you and cannot wait to support your vision, let them in wholeheartedly.

Stay on your purpose.

With love,


yiye zhang, intuitive guide, five element acupuncture london

Want my personal help? Book an intuitive soul reading with me.

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