“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a ‘hot mess’ or having ‘too many issues’ are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.”
― Anthon St. Maarten
Dare to flow
Living an authentic life is a highly rewarding life, inspired and guided by your higher self.
It has nothing to do with how you are perceived or projected, or how perfect (imperfect) you are.
It is about living your truth, nothing but your personal, whole truth. As you are committed to your original self as doctors are to diagnosis, commitment to your authenticity is your healing medicine.
Your authenticity is personal, private and yet utterly human that it is so universal.
You cannot research into authenticity, think or talk yourself into authenticity.
It is something that needs to be deeply felt.
It is an inner-knowing that no external circumstance can take away from you.
Just like an ocean doesn’t need to prove its magnificence, a mountain doesn’t have to show off its strength, your authenticity is rooted in your DNA.
As you lean into your raw emotions at the present time, however you feel, let it flow.
“What flows goes far,” Lao Zi.
This is a concept that is hard for our brain to grasp.
I had a client, a powerful and captive writer, with an active mind. The mind told her that she should analyse what topics that she ought to write about, when to publish the piece, and how to connect with so and so influencers in the blogsphere.
She used that approach a few times with “moderate successes”, according to her.
“It all made sense. My plan should work. And the results should be way better!”
“It made sense to your brain, but how about the rest of your body? How does it make your heart feel?” I asked her.
After a long pause, “Miserable! To be completely honest, my heart feels restricted…”
Whatever we create, if the heart is left out of the process, it won’t be full, delicious or long-lasting. “Ask your heart how she wants to get involved.” I prompted.
“hmmmm, I guess much more spontaneous, intuitive, more open and intimate.” Her voice lifted up but then went flat again, “but this feels too risky, too vulnerable. I don’t know if this way works. After all, my hard work before did yield some results, which I don’t want to abandon…”
The dilemma she had is the one that many of us who want to lead an authentic life – personally, creatively and professionally – face.
Like standing on the edge of an abyss, diving into the unknown, you could fly high and enjoy the rise, or you could end up falling into the dark should your wings be not nearly as strong as you thought.
The anxiety, fear and confusion is real.
But so is the quiet power of your heart. The calling will never go away. At the end of the day, you are here to do what you were born to do.
My client took a leap of the faith and wrote what truly mattered to her although she wasn’t sure if it was marketable or sensible.
It was hard to click the “publish” button, but she had already invested her soul into the piece, it was too late to bail out the last minute.
She asked for prayers and uplifting thoughts, and I joyfully sent mine with great admiration of her courage.
It turned out that her new writing not just mattered to her, but her audience too. In her own voice, she wrote truth that her peers were too afraid to talk about or too busy to constantly market other things. It was honest, it was refreshing, it was…pretty dang bold…
“People are sharing my work organically and voluntarily. And I got invited to be part of a Summit! Can you believe it?!” She wrote to me three weeks later with great excitement.
Of course I believe it, although it might not necessarily be in this particular form (this part is always the divine’s job, not hers nor mine), but the outcome just matched how her heart wanted to feel: spontaneous, intuitive, more open and intimate. 💗
She didn’t do anything clever, but she encouraged and uplifted the audience. She was relatable.
Her heart-felt message fed her community. Her community then fed her with many deserved opportunities.
“What flows goes far, what goes far returns.” Our ancestor passed on the wisdom thousands of years ago.
That is the power of authenticity – you have that too.
Dance Into Your Authenticity
I have a confession: I used to be such a fussy dance partner.
I constantly complained: he leads too softly, he pushes me too hard, he is not listening to my signals, he lacks musicality, he can’t even do the steps, he can’t improvise in the moment…blablabla, without taking a proper look at my attitude.
No wonder why I had disappeared from the social dancing scene for a while. Basically, I was my own worst nightmare.
Until sometime last year, growing as a healer, I gained a new perspective in partner dancing.
Sure, it is one of the most challenging “dialogues” with another human being. And over the years, it has definitely triggered stuff in me.
Partner dance can be easily misunderstood:
It is not about filling a void in you that could not be fulfilled elsewhere, it is not about getting techniques spot on, it is not about lashing out stress from a busy day, and it is definitely not about if you are dancing with a beginner or a pro…
But it is a conscious choice on mindfulness, on intention, on humanity.
Human journey can be fragile, because of the sorrow and pain, because of injustice and prejudice, we dance.
We dance on our own, for liberation, for joy and celebration, for witness and expression.
We dance in pairs, holding and being held by one another.
Can we see the in person in front of us? Really see him/her and interact with their pure essence? Can we put our own insecurity aside for a moment and offer our light? Can we forget about “knowledge” for a second and simply share a breath with them?
That’s when we connect at a much deeper level. That’s where authenticity comes in. Like cracking an overdue code, I began to enjoy a dance with everyone – my humbling journey led me to true freedom.
Living with authenticity is like a dance.
A dance with self-love.
When your most authentic self emerges from confusion, heartbreak, darkness, or trauma, it seeks its root and guidance. And self-love is much required for the root and guidance.
My friend’s boyfriend is an amateur photographer. She hasn’t felt about anyone the way she feels about him for a long time.
She enjoys him so much, and he is very fond of her too.
She supports him on his artistic devotion. She attends classes, checking the latest gadgets on amazon, running around – at times during unsocial hours – just to get one shot right out of hundreds.
She wanted the relationship to move faster, and she believed that if she showed him how much she is passionate about photography, he would see what a Soulmate she is.
So she went to even more classes, researched for more equipment, stayed up all night to catch the sunrise at the perfect moment. Her feeds were filled with more and more beautiful scenery pictures. Except…her relationship didn’t move faster and she was not nearly as happy she thought she would be.
She asked me what I would do in her situation.
“It is so sweet that you are doing all the wonderful things for your relationship, your boyfriend is really lucky to have you! But put that aside for a second, what do you really want to do? How is your pursuit in acting going lately?” Knowing her reasonably well, I was curious about her childhood passion.
Here is the thing, we all know how “authenticity” is spelt, we can say it easily, but it is not just a buzz word, but a way of living.
It is a bold acknowledgement of your bright light emerging out of this rather complex world.
It is not always straightforward to embody, especially when we are around people who we care about so much, it is easy to take their dream as ours.
Check in with yourself at least three times each day: “What do I really want?”
:: you can start with small things such as if you want soup or toast for breakfast, this will train you to be less and less likely to make decisions on autopilot.
:: if there is conflict and you are torn by choices, I highly encourage you to ask yourself this question: “If I were loving myself fiercely, what would I do?”
:: if you are frustrated because you don’t even know what you want, don’t despair, take your attention to the present moment, breathe deeply. You are exactly where you need to be, trust that the right insight will reveal itself soon…
You go…
Your Best Self Is Always Calling
Contrary to common belief, being your best self does not mean that you must be perfect, or worse, transcend your ego completely. Let’s save that for fantasy!
Instead, what we are aiming for here is accuracy and self-compassion – be preciously who you are at the bone.
:: What genuinely lights you up?
:: How comfortable are you sitting with your raw emotion without judging it?
:: In what ways can you accept yourself better? All of you, both light and shadow
:: It’s human and healthy to have a ego while walking on planet Earth, and what can you do today to take care of your basic needs so that your ego is relatively balanced? That you are part of the solution not the problem?
It is within reach, and you can do it.
If you want a quick reminder about your best self, I made this video (with helpful resources) for you.
The Calling, “Are you ready for your entrance?”
Live the life when you are meant to lead, say goodbye to a dead-end relationship, walk away from that abusive situation, say yes to a creative risk with full faith…
The journey itself is never a straight line, but you know it well when your best self is calling you to your most authentic path.
When the ancient part of us emerge from our cells, when our inner-voice whisper that the yearning could become reality, hardly can we ever resist.
Your best self is always calling: calling you to rise up and grow, to curl up and heal, to search and teach, to guide and inspire.
It reminds you of what you have forgotten and who you really are.
Living with the ledge of your authenticity, no longer frightened by either “failure” or “success”, you return to the innocence of your true self.
This is where power, potency, peace and passion all come in and working together together.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” – Carl Jung.
Resting in your life’s corridor, your Soul is calling, “Are you ready for your entrance?”
Are you ready for your entrance?
If you are tired of the old ways of “sucking it up”, “numbing it out”, or “hustling your everything off”, but looking for new ways to forge ahead: more creative, more hand-made, more satisfying (inside out), more natural and more…you, I’m here to assist you. I’ve opened a few new spots available for Intuitive Soul Sessions.
With all my love,
Yiye
Thank you beautiful Yiye! This is exactly what I needed to read today. Your writing always touches a deep place inside me, as if you are talking to my soul.
Thank you so much Asselle, glad you enjoyed the articles 🙂