One of the many struggles for people going through a spiritual awakening is that your family and friends don’t seem to be interested or want to support you – at least it feels this way at times.
Sure, they are worried about you, they are concerned, and they might even want to warn you “for your own good.” You hear negative comments, harsh judgement or unsolicited opinions, so distracting and disheartening that you would do anything to get out of that unhealthy and un-nurturing situation.
If you let those opinions influence you too much, you might start doubting if you are on the right track at all.
I’ve certainly been there too, especially at the beginning when I didn’t have much support from my network. I spent too much energy reacting to the not-so-funny tease, projections and misunderstanding.
Hiring mentors to guide me and cheer me on certainly helped, but deep down, I also wanted to attract more like-hearted souls into my life in addition to my professional and creative work.
Re-examining my definition of friendship, owning my vision in mutually-giving, soulful relationships and setting myself free from others’ opinions was a real challenge. To me that was certainly much harder than learning and honing my skills in teaching, writing, coaching, and practical business how-to…all combined.
Many people after a heart-opening or spiritual awakening feel the same way: “I want to be seen, be witnessed. But I don’t know who I can talk about this kind of stuff with. People will think that I am weird.”
Today, I am sharing a few things that really helped me. Take what resonates with you, I hope they’ll help you too!
1. Be crystal clear with what you want and make a full-commitment.
This means, stop looking for validation from your friends. Chances are, when you start out a new venture or change your direction, you and your ideas are still in the mist. It’s so human to attempt to get approval.
However, unless you are 100% committed, others will sense your hesitation and they will respond to that primarily.
The best thing you can gift yourself is to clear the fog. And you must start the clearing from within.
Know what it takes for you to succeed and give your all. Take responsibility of your happiness, and let your family and friends off the hook. Ultimately, this is a great freedom for both you and them.
2. Give yourself what you need.
The more you become self-tolerant and self-loving, the more you are connected with your essence. You’ll then understand that there is nothing you truly lack. Paradoxically, you’ll attract more and more empathy, understanding and support.
Many of my clients (and myself included) have experienced these phases:
“they don’t get me, oh they really don’t. I can’t believe that they don’t believe in me.”
“actually I don’t need anyone other than myself to believe in me.”
“Holy C, they get me and believe in me!”
And we all know the truth beneath: they haven’t changed. But we have.
In short, the more honest and clear with what you need, the easier for you to tolerate human limitation and that includes your friends’ temporary perception on who you are.
3. Let some go.
Unfortunately some relationships are meant to be only for a season. Be thankful for what you’ve been through together, the witness, the companionship, the love and affection, but when you grow apart, the best thing is to let it go with grace.
Forgive. Forgive. And forgive. Make room for your expansion. And when the new people who adore you and cannot wait to support your vision, let them in wholeheartedly.
Let some go if you have drifted apart, but you don’t need to let all of them go, because:
4. True intimacy can be found in many places
Is it possible to have intimacy without talking about deep stuff all the time? I think so.
A member of my Manifesting Course asked this question, “Since I started working on myself several years ago, it has been very difficult to connect with like-minded people. While I am really grateful for my spiritual growth, I feel lonely at times. Whenever I meet up with my friends, they are only interested in talking about the surface level stuff. I love them and do want to keep them in my life, but it’s frustrating. Any advice?”
And here are my two cents “I understand your frustration. You don’t want to do your lonely transformation work all by yourself, with very little witness from your loved ones.
You love them, and you want them to be on the same page with you. It would be much more fun that way, wouldn’t it?
But you know what is even more fun? Exploring intimacy regardless of whether people are on the same page with you or not.
Do you know that you can connect with people at the deep level without actually talking about the deep stuff?
Given that you said you do want to keep your friends in your life, I assume that they love you and they do make an effort to nurture your friendship.
They must have some qualities that attracted you in the first place besides your spiritual growth. It could be their kindness and generosity, their sharp mind or intelligence, their fun-loving and adventurous nature, or that they simply make you laugh…
Whichever quality you were attracted to, it was their Spirit shining bright without talking about spirituality with you. So when you are together, focus on that and make the most of it.
The beauty of cultivating your presence and your inner-magic is that you are not dependent on how spiritually aware others are, in order to live your own authentic life.
It’s not about what subject you talk about, or whom you talk with, but how you talk about everything and anything in life. Make sense?
There are abundant virtues in spirituality, which are hidden everywhere and anywhere in life.
For example, you can talk about intuition and instincts with animal lovers.
You can share humility and healing while exchanging stories with your travel buddies.
You can admire and appreciate body intelligence together with your yoga mates or gym buddies.
You can talk about creativity and patience with friends who love cooking.
And even when you say “Hi, how are you today” to your neighbours in a fully present and genuinely interested way, you are sharing your light in that precious moment. And when they are available to respond in the same manner, you can then enjoy their light too.
Out of all your friends, I assume that there are at least one or two people who are open-minded and good listeners. Then, with them, you can share the deeper side of your journey and growth in recent years in a more verbal and obvious way.
Meanwhile, give yourself enough space to receive and connect with like-minded and like-hearted people.
Both in the online and offline spaces, keep your eyes open.
Share your true Self, your presence, your inner-magic wherever you go.
Your refreshing attitude towards life will inspire and empower the inner-magic in others. And for those people who are on the same page with you? They will step forward and join you in that sacred space.”
Stay on your purpose.
With love,
Yiye
Want my personal help? Book an intuitive soul reading with me.
