This Myth On Giving Can Stop You From Receiving: 4 Steps To Break The Flawed Giving-Receiving Cycle

Big NO NO.

This formula looks effective on the surface but is likely to backfire if you are not careful.

When you do give to people, let it be delightfully unexpected, classily detached, and really mean it.

It is not “sacrificing”. And there are no strings-attached.

You see, a true giving-receiving is completely free from co-dependency. It is a pure high vibrational flow. (tweet this)

Here are 4 simple steps to create a healthier cycle and renew your energy system, (finally!)

1. Give something to yourself first;

Be brutally honest:

“The motivation for me to give, is it JUST BECAUSE? Or do I want something back?”

If the latter, the truth is that some aspects of you have been neglected and are crying for your attention. Pause, reflect, adjust. Take care of this aspect of YOU first.

Please don’t judge yourself – you need what you need.

Even if you are not able to fulfil your needs yet due to responsibilities or obligations, take a moment to acknowledge them and promise yourself that you’ll get to them as soon as you can.

Otherwise, at this stage, the more you give to others, the more deficiency you will create for yourself, which can lead to more resentment and imbalance down the road.

It doesn’t matter if it is five minutes of quiet time spent on recharging, $10 on ingredients for a healthy meal, or your boundary lovingly communicated, the gesture is priceless.

You are signalling your subconscious that you are worthy in your own life.

To translate this concept into your day to day living as a creative business owner, here are some examples:

:: For everything you want to offer and give to your clients, give the same level of care and support towards yourself as well. This way, you will keep burnout, resentment, unfair projection or frustrating staleness at bay.

:: Always give value and do it from a full cup. Write/play/create for yourself first before you do it for the wider community. It’s much more fulfilling to outflow your creative juice naturally.

:: Genuinely appreciate the effort you put into your work, even if your product flops this time – it doesn’t mean that your hard work is wasted. Everything and anything you learn throughout the process will come back and serve your business better in one way or another.

Some of us suffer from self-shaming, if this is the case for you, practise more on self-compassion, honour your own gifts, let yourself to be witnessed, healed and empowered.

If you need further help, “borrow” someone else’s presence. Talk to a wise elder in your family who loves you dearly, or find inspiration or role models from literature or biographies. Soak yourself into the frequency of Love, which can tremendously shake off old and outworn baggage.

2. Allow yourself to receive Abundance, from you;

This step might sound too obvious to even pay attention to, which contributes to the reason that when people finally get on the well deserved vacation they couldn’t enjoy the scenery fully but glue their eyes on the social media accounts still; that they’ve successfully raised half of the required funding but they deem the project a failure instead of coming up with other ways to get the rest of the financing; that they couldn’t unwind or relax on a day off but let anxiety take over.

True Abundance comes in many forms: inspiration, support, recharge, a 50% achieved goal (yet), a time and space to disconnect from stress… However, many of us let Abundance pass by because we dismiss the opportunities to receive.

We sabotage ourselves during the journey and wonder why we are not progressing well.

Whatever calls your heart: an experience, joyful feeling of being well paid, connection with fellow human being, a mini-break, a slower paced living…your Higher Self knows and wants to give it to you.

Make a commitment to trust that you are provided by your Higher Self.

Receive the love from you to you. No, this is not self-indulgence, but showing gratitude towards life.

An awareness like this alone can shift your perception and energy drastically. 

In Classical Chinese Medicine, Abundance is the energy of the Earth Element. The Earth Element is akin to the motherly unconditional love, which is vital to our growth, wellbeing, health, strength and stability. Abundance means such vital energy going around.

Just think about the very best experiences you’ve ever had. Were you simply showing up in the right place at the right time? Or were you beating yourself up, topping it up with harsh inner-criticism?

People often overlook the importance of steps 1 & 2, therefore put a lot of hope or even pressure on others to make their lives better. Sadly the higher the hope is, usually the bigger the disappointments are.

Don’t fall into this trap. Instead, make a ritual to immerse into steps 1 & 2. They are crucial to unlock your inner magnet.  They are the foundation of the alchemy which opens up opportunities, expands your perceptions and transforms mundane into Abundance. So that you’ll gain capacity to become self-ful, then in turn to be in a position to spread the fullness.

3. Become an Abundance Ambassador.

Now you are in a wonderful place to give out to the Universe.

Be generous and creative.

Be wild and surprising.

We might have various possessions, but truly we own nothing. We are Abundance ambassadors – the custodians – who can pass bounty and richness on.

Do voluntary work. Give extra tips. Donate to food banks regularly. Offer a helping hand to your neighbours. Write a song for your loved ones. Go extra miles to deliver excellence for your project. Make tea for someone who is irritated in your office. Offer boatloads of value for your community…

Meanwhile following the previous steps, you should feel relatively detached whatever you decide to give, whomever you are giving to.

You can even challenge yourself a little. Give something that you normally wouldn’t do. This way, not only will you enjoy Abundance in a more rounded way, but also your new action will ignite fresh energy.

For instance, if you are someone who usually gives Money to your loved ones and find it difficult to spend quality time with them, then give your time for a change.

Alternatively, if you often have no trouble sharing your time or presence with others but are afraid of giving Money due to irrational fear, then treat your friends to a meal/vacation or donate an amount that you can afford to those who are in need.

You can also think outside of the box to make someone’s day.

When I started out my online business, my budget was tight, so I went on a number of free webinars. For those ones I really enjoyed and found useful, I was very grateful for their support and help even months after the call. As my business grew, I went back and sent them donations and gave them praise and testimonials.

They all told me that they were beyond surprised and delighted. By making their days, I was also making mine.

There is sacredness in the random act of kindness you offer to others, without any strings attached or tightly grabbed “you owe me” feeling.

Whatever you want to grasp, try to give it away.

Now if we take a look at the examples at the beginning of this article:

:: you pop into those FB groups sometimes answering questions, not because you have to or you must get clients from doing it, but you can and you want to;

:: while investing a lot into your relationship, you are also dedicated to your own dreams and taking care of your own needs;

:: creating content no longer feels like “sacrificing your time” but you purely love it…

This is a much more relaxed and free flowing place to be. Abundance naturally outflows to your environment and the Universe. Abundance is you and you are Abundance.

This leads to…

4. Let the love in and accept the bounty.

Everything you’ve practised so far will steer you clear of co-dependency.

Giving and receiving should be effortless.

If receiving is an area which you struggle with,  gently and consistently remind your subconscious mind that receiving is just as important as giving; that there is nothing noble of rejecting a genuine gift or loving gesture from someone who cares about you; that if you block yourself from receiving, you are denying the magnitude of human experiences.

Whatever you’ve offered to the world: be it joy, compassion, understanding, financial generosity… will come back to you.

Allow yourself to receive from the Universe in one way or another.

Stay detached. Remember: what’s yours cannot pass you by.

I’ve seen miracles happen to the “lucky” ones and the “broken” ones; the “seasoned” ones and the “newbies”; the “logical” ones and the “woo-woo” ones. You are not an exception either.