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If you are one of the many who find that they cannot sit still during meditation, which ironically makes them even more frustrated afterwards, please stop trying to meditate that way! The outcome of meditation is for YOU to reach relaxation, if you are worried that you cannot do it the “correct way” then you are better off to enjoy some sleep or food instead.
Each of us has unique physical, psychological and emotional attributes. There is no single “best way” to meditate but you should seek the most effective and comfortable way for yourself. Others can always suggest ways that work for them, but it is entirely up to you to adapt the ways to suit you. It’s a lot easier for introverted individuals to practise seated meditation. While for extroverted people, they need to get themselves into motions to quieten their minds. However everyone can be introverted or extroverted under different circumstances.
There are many forms of meditation; the following are my personal methods:
Mindfulness: start with being alone in a quiet and comfortable environment. Straighten your posture, seated would be good but don’t worry if you prefer to stand up. Lotus hands aren’t compulsory either. Pay attention to your breath, your surrounding and your thoughts. As they come and go, simply note them, but don’t judge or get sidetracked by them. Many websites suggest ideally you should practise this for 10-15 minutes at a time. However if you find it difficult, don’t get frustrated, just try a couple of times per day for 2-3 minutes instead. Then gradually you will be able to last longer.
Once you feel comfortable with your ability to calm your mind, feel free to try it in a busy spot. I love doing this in Trafalgar Square – you look but you don’t see, you listen but you don’t hear, you observe but don’t absorb – you don’t need to hide somewhere to find peace, you are already peaceful regardless where you are.
Visualisation with a particular goal (yep, that’s how law of attraction works. I will write another post to explain more)
– if you are looking for a job, visualise details of what your ideal job entails, eg, character traits your ideal boss would have, what sort of building you want to work in, small or big open plan office, location, on a Monday morning what do you see yourself doing
– if you are looking to buy a house, use your imagination to develop specifications: style of gardens, how many floors, neighbourhood, decoration. Even better if you can draw it. If you find difficult to know what you want, then this way could help you to identify your heart’s desires, which are often blocked by your head
If you don’t know what to visualise but want to try this method, you can start with something like this guided visualisation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT5w5rBUaxw
Morning Pages: 3 pages long hand writing first thing in the morning, you don’t need to be a writer to do it. Ignore the quality as you won’t show your writing to anyone. No need to analyse them neither. Just do it. Write down anything comes to you – joy or sadness, petty or big, positive or self-doubt, dramatic or peaceful – it doesn’t really matter. Just write your thoughts down. The idea is to let your emotions out first thing in the morning so that you can gain a sense of clarity for the rest of the day. It is very different from journaling in which you focus on a topic and aim to say something meaningful. Creativity Coach Julia Cameron teaches her clients how to unblock creativity using this tool. Check out her world renowned book The Artist’s Way or The Artist’s Way at Work. Although it is claimed that morning is the best time, I don’t strictly follow this rule. This is because personally I want to devote more time in the morning for fresh air, and I find pages working just fine in the afternoon or evening.
Dancing: especially energy flow style such as Brazilian Zouk
TaiChi or other forms of energy transfer exercise. Start with using your Dantian (belly) to breathe, once your body gets more sensitive, try to use your whole body to breathe. You might laugh but trust me it is so much fun, if you could make it work.
Past wounds healing: chances are you do have a few wounds. Visit your past, if this idea is not too mental for you. Pick up an experience that still needs to be resolved. Find the people who you should forgive but you are not able to wholeheartedly yet. In your mind go back to the exact situation, location, with the same people. Imagine you now as a bigger friend of your past-self, stronger and more powerful. What would you say to your past-self? What do you want to say to the people who participated in the event? Go and tell them.
Letting go – whenever you are nervous, rushed, feel forced or drained. Just say it out loud: “I am done, I release everything that is inappropriate”. Or you can try the “fxxk it way” (http://www.thefuckitlife.com/about.htm). If you want to devote more time, try guided meditation like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5NbFTc42bE
My friend Nick found that playing badminton made him chilled and it improved his concentration afterwards. I guess the same applies to running or gym work for some people.
For mediation to be successful regardless of its form, you should feel the following afterwards:
Light
Relaxed
Serene
Expansive
Alert
See, you are probably already doing mediation without realising it. The key is just to find out what works for you and do it more often.
Why not grab my FREE guided meditation audio (scroll down + you’ll see a sign up box)
