How are you after yesterday’s full moon?
There have been a few interesting astrological events. As for myself, I certainly experienced some technology wonkiness.
Couldn’t log on to my inbox because of my hosting company, followed by the internet breaking down, and even my kettle and fridge had glitches.
I was annoyed: how about clients’ deliverables? how about my plans? I had so much energy but didn’t know how I could execute.
Ah, then I realised we are still in Mercury Retrograde. It wasn’t the first time – I had far worse before. It won’t be the last time – all part of the human experience and “fun” that planets are having with each other.
I want to surrender, but in the meantime, I’d also LOVE to carry on working on my vision, with faith, with devotion, with….boatloads of joy…
I don’t want to be like a drama queen ( well, not anymore), throwing things away and sinking into an emotional downward spiral, to only find myself regretting it and beating myself up later on.
I couldn’t do this alone anymore, I asked my Guides for help.
“Please, advise me, please.”
Wu Family, a newly formed connection, a collective conciousness came through.
No whispers.
Instead, I was taken down memory lane.
That was about a year ago, when I started some proper martial art training. My first class. 10 minutes into the cardio exercises, I wanted to throw up and walk out of the room. But it would be so embarrassing in front of my classmates, the majority of whom were boys aged 5-10. You could see the strength, dedication and determination written all over on their facial expressions.
I, on the other hand, was a chronic illness recoverer. The emotional barrier was way heavier than the physical:
What if I get ill again?
What if glandular fever kicks in?
What if I am ill for another 7 years like last time?
I couldn’t bear that thought any longer, I went to speak to the Master Teacher. After explained my circumstance, I asked him with caution, “Am I doing the exercises wrong? Is it normal to feel like dying?”
He looked at me, just like any true Zen Masters, with assurance: “If this is your first time after awhile, yes, it is normal to feel like this.” He glanced at me again, this time with more encouragement and an impeccable order: “Now, change direction, and carry on. Remember to tap into your inner strength.”
The rest of the story: I didn’t quit my first class, and pretty much immediately afterwards, I surprised myself by getting better and better naturally. I felt the cosmic portal in my belly – whenever I’m in that place, endless strength, courage, faith and fun poured into every ounce of my being. I found out so much about myself that I never knew before. It’s all started with this mindset change: “Stuck? Just change direction and carry on.”
I understand why Wu (an official thank you Guide) brought me back to this memory:
True desires, yours, mine, ours, individually and collectively, are part of nature.
Nature does not hurry – so there is no point on pushing, you’ll only get more frustrated.
Nature has its own life force too. If there are small glitches on the way, it doesn’t mean your intention isn’t working, or nobody wants your stuff, or you must be on the wrong path…Trust, trust and trust this life force of your desires.
“Hmmm, so, what do I really want right at this moment, despite all the “shoulds”?” I asked myself.
A new haircut, spa, some cozy, figure-hugged winter clothes, dance, dance and more dance. I took myself out on an Abundance date. I did all of above and more, totally relaxed into the beauty of the winter London Town. This life-full attitude attracted a few miraculous in-person connections out of pure synchronicity.
I got back home, tired but exhilarated, putting this on my to-desire list (I don’t use the phrase “to-do” anymore): “Oh yes, I want to buy a new kettle tomorrow, speak to my hosting company, find a way to deliver what I promised to people, and fix this and that”. Hassle, but hey, what needs to be done need to be done.
But instead, this was what happened: the kettle fixed itself. Then the fridge. The inbox, internet…all fixed themselves.
Here I am, designing, tuning into, working on, playing with my next project.
And writing to you, dear fellow change makers, lightworkers, movers and shakers.
With Faith. With Devotion. With Boatloads of Joy.
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