Why Struggle Can Be Good + 3 Ways to Sooth Your “Spiritual Puberty”

I took 4 laps of walking meditation in my local park, my heart was still pumping loudly – 10 minutes later I would log onto Skype and talk to my first-ever paying client.

I was very excited to be able to attract my first-ever, but the nerves and scares definitely outweighed everything else.

She was an ideal client: a sweet and giving soul, a devoted lightworker, her aura was inviting so it was so easy for me to read even prior to our session. And she paid me in time. I had no excuses to push it back, reschedule until “I am really ready”, or any crap like that…

I had to walk back home + show up to the session. It was a quiet morning and all I could hear in my head repeatedly was “such a fraud you are”, “such a fraud you are”

I reminded myself that this is just my irrational fear, and my client doesn’t deserve my fears, she deserves my love.

That was Aug 2012 (not too long ago). The session itself actually went brilliantly, we had a blast, and two weeks later she wrote me a beautiful thank you letter, more importantly, the session helped her in a profound way.

But I was shitting myself (not literally of course).

It took me 6 months to calm my heart before, during and after the 1:1 sessions.

The struggling “in-between” phase is what we are talking about here!

Everything is new, you are still finding your feet; everyone else is mature and fabulous and you are only an ugly duckling trying to figure out your style; every time you press that “publish” button on your blog, you are getting 5% more naked…

Depending on your project, it can take you 3 – 24 months to get over this unsettling period and feel more “real” about your new venture.

By “real”, it means that you stop losing your sleep over small details; your bank balance is reasonably pretty; your family/friends/leisure time are substantial to balance the energy you are putting into your venture; things are working and you TRUST that it will continue to work…

Before you get to this place, there is such an uphill hurdle!

You feel unsure, contractual, and on some of those nights you cry a lot (either because of stress or relief)…

You might start to question why the hell your quit your safe job, left your old familiar city or want to “live on your terms” when you don’t even know what your terms are!!

Because of the nerves, it’s easy to get short-sighted and undervalue the concept of struggle.

An uphill struggle doesn’t have to be painful, it will only be so if you assume that you have to suffer.

Setting up your business? Trying to fill up your practice? Moving to a new country? A spiritual awakening?

It’s all part of the natural recycling and evolution process.

Behind each struggle, there is an Urge to Merge desire to your Higher Self.

Whenever there is struggle, there is also sparkle. That sparkle rekindles a long-lost passion, and that passion calls back an ancient piece of a soul memory and a richer sense of belonging.

Remember the first year of your relationship? The teething phase, the fear of the unknown, the drifting between the past and future?

How about the up side? Your first date, first kiss? The fact that you couldn’t stop talking about the other person with your friends?…The excitement and ecstasy..

Same as your transformation.

If you feel struggling at the moment, then THIS IS THE YEAR you’ll look back on with a great smile when you are 100 (let’s all plan to live a long life, why not?).

I remember my first week in England, a few racist encounters, drunken flatmates and drug dealers scared the crap out of me, I had to carry an electronic dictionary with me wherever I went, and there was not much money left after I paid my tuition fees…

Nevertheless, the early October crispy air in Yorkshire, mixed scent of fresh rain and the newly painted flat, the heather stretching itself out all over the Peak District, the first bank account and postal address under my name…all reminded me the seduction of a new beginning and I was living and breathing with a fuller degree of independence.

You WILL struggle during any in-between or transitional period, but it doesn’t mean that you have to learn everything the hard way.

Animals can cope well with their transformation: caterpillars to butterflies, snakes peeling off their old skin, polar bears going into hibernation etc…And we, as the divine sparkles, can do well too!

There are 3 things you can do to help you in this awkward, anxious, in-between spiritual puberty phase.

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1. Celebrate your new “puberty” + see the bigger picture

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Instead of denial, admit the truth:

Yes, it does feel awkward, anxious and even generates low self-esteem at times.

Stay light-hearted + have a really good laugh about your brand new puberty.

I just love watching UK comedies such as In-Betweeners, The Peep Show, and Fresh Meat – those teenagers, Uni students and awkward “broken” adults have a difficult time during the important life transitions. They remind me exactly what I was like (perhaps still am in a way), and thank goodness I am NOT the only one!

Aim to see the bigger picture. Before you reincarnated, your soul, together with your best tutors, mentors, guides and your very own Higher Self, have hand-picked the very experience that you are going through at the moment.

It will be hard to see exact reasons behind it while you are in lessons (of course, otherwise what’s the point of you coming to earth and learning these lessons?).

However, you can train yourself to embrace the unknown + have a damn good time no matter what.

Laughing out loud is the simplest way to raise your vibration.

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2. Build a routine + kickass support system

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As much as you’d like, your transformation won’t be smooth every day.

Sometimes $hit will hit the fan, you will receive unsolicited criticism, or things just don’t work out temporarily and you push yourself too hard, leading to a burn out.

During your transformation, your ego can be tough to manage.

I know that mine got really fragile and agitated at times, but a routine makes my ego feel safe.

Build a routine – you don’t have to break it down to every single hour, unless that is your style, but have a few non-negotiables. Us humans need a light structure.

For example, when do you meet clients? When do you create your content? When are you the most productive and inspired?

Stick with your routine.

Make sure you also build enough support into your routine, not just plain work.

This support could be going to your weekly yoga class, gym sessions, painting classes, connecting with friends who are on the same page, attending local workshops, pampering sessions, down time on the couch…

Commit to them – they re-fresh and elevate your energy. As you know, your energy is everything, so don’t ever under estimate the importance of self-care and being supported.

A routine with a consistent support system will keep your sanity, and the impact of a bad day can be reduced because of the supportive vibration available in your daily life.

As a result, you will be more effective and productive when you do the actual work.

Over time, I also encourage you to upgrade your support system. (You can learn how to manifest them from here). Especially if you plan to live long, why not enjoy an awesome lifestyle here and now?

Talking about “here and now”…this leads to our next point.

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3. Only pay attention to the “here and now”

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As I wrote at the beginning on how nervous I was, however as soon my clients started to ask me questions, I listened very carefully, the nerves were gone. And I’m back in the flow.

Now I enjoy the 1:1 sessions so much that words can’t express the joy, even if this is a new client who I didn’t know much previously. Partly because I’ve been doing this for a while, partly because I’ve been practising being present.

When you are right in the moment, your mind immediately snaps back to the HERE AND NOW.  In this state of being, who cares about the past or future? Who clings to the results when you enjoy the process so much that you can forget about the time?

Here is a video to assist you to only care about the things, tasks + people that are in front of you now.

Keep your thoughts and discussions focused on what is happening right now.

Meditate, meditate and meditate. You don’t go into meditation searching for peace, rather, you’ll realise, after meditation, that you are the peace and the brilliance.

Finally, no matter how difficult it is to perceive it on the surface, your soul has hand-picked these experiences for yourself. Something is unfolding behind the scene. You might not see all the deep meaning and purpose just yet, but give yourself a little bit more time.

Stop chasing “the time of your life”, when you are going through a transformation, believe it or not, it IS the time of your life. Giving birth to new ideas, aching for your desires, emerging in your new identity…You will only have those moments once.

Do your life’s work and be proud.

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All my love + good vibes,

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